Only 20,000 Shopping Days Till Death!

In the interests of having a well rounded blog, I wanted to write a post about fashion. I'm not an expert, the way I decide if I should buy something is I ask the question, 'If Indiana Jones was a girl, would he wear this?' If the answer is yes, then I buy it. So I don't really know anything about fashion but I know I'm a victim of it because I have a pair of black skinny jeans. Skinny jeans used to be the old pair that you could only fit into on skinny days, now it means the pair you can hardly get your foot into on any day. When they came into fashion, I said out loud that I would never have a pair, 'It's all very well on Kate Moss, she can wear anything, but you'll never see that on me', I said. Cut to last year when I found myself trying on a pair. The sales assistant was encouraging me to go tighter, two inches smaller than I usually wear, and she asked me if I washed my jeans. I didn't know there was an option and I said that I wash them and then I put them in the dryer to make them tight again. She said that was all wrong, you should buy them too tight and then stretch them to fit you. You shouldn't wash them, you should air them and give them the occasional rinse. How could I not have known this? I tried on the smaller pair and of course she told me they looked great, but I couldn't do it, I bought a pair but they were in my usual size. 

The reason this concerns me is that last year I was in Europe and girls were wearing MC Hammer pants, I said I would never wear them, but now I'm scared, what if I weaken? Somebody kill me if I do, or take a photo and make me take a good hard look at myself. The thing to do is just to never try them on because they're probably ridiculously comfortable, why else would people wear them? So, I don't know anything about fashion but I do know something about shopping. I know that underwear/swimsuit shopping can make a girl suicidal faster than anything else ever invented by humans. How can people who own shops not know that the lighting in the dressing room is more important for your sales than the actual clothes? Is it that hard to get? Light it like a nightclub and you will sell more stuff!