U.D.L. - Spirit in a Can

Our country is on fire and we don't have any water, which is inconvenient because that's the first thing you reach for when you want to put out a fire. My friend Nick had a fight with his wife on the day of the fire, they knew it was coming, she wanted to leave and he wanted to stay and fight it, so she left and he stayed. He spent two hours wetting around the house and then the water pump broke. He heard the roaring of the firestorm, ran into the house, and he and the dogs watched the flames coming in through the gap between the door and the floor. And then the windows exploded and he knew he was going to die. But he didn't die, it passed. He went outside and things were burning but the wall of fire had moved on. He had no water so he grabbed what he could from the house and ran around putting out fires, he put out one fire with a bottle of Champagne and when the car caught on fire he put it out with a U.D.L. can (scotch and coke if you're interested). Nice one Nick, I'll think of you every time I drink one.